I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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