im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
