I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
