Just fell off a train. Bad.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
