i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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