FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize