I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
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