You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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