Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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