i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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