is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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