You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I just found a bag of teeth...
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
