windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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