So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
