I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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