call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
