Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
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i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
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He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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