hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
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Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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