You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
