Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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