Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize