i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
