i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Randomize
