i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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