Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
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I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
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He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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