I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
