She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
