hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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