I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
