i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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