You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
i think im in europe. pls send help
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