the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
