Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
