He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
