..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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