i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Watching her eat just hurts me
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I think people are normalizing furries
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
