a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
tell me about the eggs
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
