I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
