hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
