I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Its about making memories worth repressing
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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