moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Little spoons don't ask big questions
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
