Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
