Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
