in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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