oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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