Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
