i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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