This is not my ceiling
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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