im about as happy as oj after his trial
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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