You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
