brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
is wine microwaveable?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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