I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I understand Curling. That high.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
