from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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