I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
This is my gift to your gina
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
