you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
