I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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