woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
