Farmville is her only friend.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
