you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Randomize
