Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Randomize
