whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
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I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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