Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She needs sedatives and a leash
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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