Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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