all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
